• Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

• In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

• Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

• It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

• Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

• A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.

• Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

• There are two kinds of failures those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.

• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.

• Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

• An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

• Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

• You can always tell a real friend when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

• Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

• An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

• Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

• Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

• Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

• Every man serves a useful purpose A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

• America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

• In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

• If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

• Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.

• Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

• If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk

• The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

• Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour-by-hour mental conduct produces power for change in your life. Develop a train of thought on which to ride. The nobility of your life as well as your happiness depends upon the direction in which that train of thought is going.

• The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

• Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

• Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

• Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.